To flirt or not to flirt?

Mmmm … So I’ve started … no, correction. Someone else at work has started a little flirtation with me. From the moment we met, he’s been ‘batting his eyelids’ – that is, the guy version: flattery. And I am totally flattered. He’s just so good at it – a real smooth talker, Mr Charming himself. Whether he’s Prince Charming, however, is doubtful.

I’m not really looking to settle down into a serious relationship right now. Having my heart shattered by the man I thought I’d marry just over a year ago has left me little jaded. But I do feel ready to get out ‘there’ again and at least experience life to the fullest – and surely that includes dating even if it’s not with the intention of having a relationship? Is it wrong to date someone even if you know that it’s going absolutely nowhere? Well, no. Not to sound too heartless or business-like, if both parties are aware of the ‘terms of the agreement’, and there is consensus, I don’t believe there is any reason not to make that connection with someone, albeit a temporary one.

Perhaps I should be looking for a fling outside of my work environment. It’s probably advisable. However, the reason this particular guy is so irresistible is that he has all the qualities I’m looking for in a guy right now – good-looking, fun and really smart. The last one is paramount. I’ve said no to at least three guys in the last two months, not because they were dumb, but they were ignorant. If you want to debate with someone, at least get your facts straight: racist, judgemental and politically-unaware guys need not bother to ask if they can buy me a drink.

So I work with him – not closely, but still, does that mean I should say no next time he asks me for dinner? So far I’ve artfully dodged committing to a date (if that’s even what he means by dinner). He’s a co-worker, which means that should things go sour the work environment might be a little tense. And since I’ve been down that road before, I should know better. The last time I went out with a co-worker I fell in love with him, while he just wanted to get into my pants.

And yet … and but (see!) … Again, I find myself excited to go to the office, thinking about what I should wear, how much make-up to put on, which perfume to spray. And it feels good. I know it’s probably not smart but he is incredibly sexy and what’s wrong with a little harmless fling, if it even comes to that? As my muse herself says, “Maybe mistakes are what make our fate ... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go.” Should I be Careless Carrie rather than careful? I think, I might take him up on dinner - after all, he could be my Mr Big...