The journey begins...

Could a girl from a conservative, Christian family in South Africa write about sex in the city with complete honesty? Because let’s be frank, we can say that things have changed. We have a liberal Constitution, gay marriage is now guaranteed while single fathers may now have custody of their children. Many couples choose to live together rather than get married and Cosmopolitan magazine always has at least one article about one-night stands. But face it, many girls, like me, are afraid to have sex outside of a loving relationship, for fear it might ‘taint’ them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of sex. I love it. And outside of a relationship I’m more than happy to satisfy myself. But… after starting to watch Sex and the City from scratch, I’d like to experiment more. See what it’s like to have “sex like a man” as Carrie Bradshaw says in the pilot episode.

I want to know what it’s like to no longer be afraid of being branded a slut. Because, these days, even though no one might say it and many might not think it, lots of girls are afraid that if they have sex with too many guys, “the One” might reject them, consider them ‘too experienced’ if there is such as thing – tainted, branded with the Scarlet Letter ‘A’. And then they’ll be doomed to having one-night stands until their boobs sag and all the good-looking and sex-worthy men are married. I’ve had many conversations with guys who have no problem screwing around, but want to marry a virgin. Do I hear you say hypocrisy?

And then, there is the fact that the only one-nighter I have had was god-awful. The sex was boring. Probably because the guy came before we even came close to actual intercourse and I had to wait until he could recharge, then spent the rest of the time praying it would just be over and I could get out. See, I’ve always figured sex with someone you love and trust is better – once you know someone you can tell them exactly what you want. And it’s fun to please your significant other. With a stranger it’s duty – you’re just waiting your turn to get what you want. But maybe you can’t generalize from one experience. I just don’t want to waste my time.

Then there is the problem of how do I actually pull it off? If I’m going to do this, if I’m going to try and emulate Carrie Bradshaw, where do I start? I need to have some decent looking and very willing men. Because if I have to embark on this journey, they have to be at least quasi-attractive. And how do I know they’ll be good at sex? Where do you go? I don’t want to go off with a stranger to just anywhere in a world like this? What if I get attacked? If you get to know someone first though, it defeats the whole point doesn’t it? Or does it still count?

The real question is; will I get to the point in this little diary/experiment where I’m comfortable enough to write under my own name?